Train the Quit Out of Yourself

So many times in my life, I have quit. On a hundred different days, in a hundred different ways, I’ve hesitated and held back, or said I would start tomorrow or just plain ol’ not started at all. There have been times where I haven’t given my best. I’m not all that proud of this fact. And I’m willing to bet that, if you’re anything like me, you’ve quit or hesitated or not started too. We all start out with the best of intentions. We all believe we’ll do the things we promise ourselves. So often it’s not even anything big or important, or even noticeable.

You know how it goes. Get excited, have a plan and envision the end goal. Of course you’re going to be a success. Maybe it’s a new habit like waking up early, new lifestyle (more vegetables?), or improving a skill or building a streak. My latest Big Goal was to log a 100 day streak of Portuguese practice on Duolingo. I’m still at zero days (sigh). Whatever it is, it gets off to a great start (assuming it gets started at all). We feel good and we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this time it’s gonna stick. Because this time is different. This is the ONE. Until it isn’t. We broke that promise we made with ourselves because we are so used to doing it and now we’re back where we started. It’s almost automatic. The good news is that we can change. We CAN keep those promises to ourselves. How? Start small, very small:

-Make and keep the tiniest little promises to yourself. I’m talking ridiculously tiny. For example, if you are going to have a shower, say to yourself “I am going to have a shower” right before you hop in. Or if you’re about to put some laundry in the wash, say “I am going to do some laundry right now”. Do this for all the mundane things you do in a day. It teaches your brain that when a message is received, the action will follow. This makes a big difference!

-As humans we tend to overestimate we tend to over-estimate what we can do in a day. Instead of trying to tackle three or four tasks in a day (as I have been known to do), focus on just one and make it The One Thing That Gets Done that day. Warning: Your ego won’t like this and will try to convince you to do all the things because the ego believes all the things must be done in a certain way in a certain time frame (usually today). Lies. Do the One Thing, take your time and enjoy it.

-Self-compassion. We’re all so used to society’s current pace of push and grind. Just try harder and you’ll be successful, right? Well, if you’re like me, you’ve been hard on yourself for a long time. But what if you tried doing the opposite and accepted that each day, you had tried your best and that is was enough? A little counterintuitive, but at worst you’ll be in the same place you are now. Best case scenario means you drop shame and frustration and replace it with a bit of self-satisfaction and confidence.

Yes we all quit, in one form or another, frequently. It costs more than we know and holds us back. I’m determined to train the quit out of myself and conquer all the mountains. Lord knows I’ve gathered up enough strategies over the years and it’s time they get put to use. I’ll be sharing as many as I can think of in my upcoming posts. It’s my hope these strategies help you as well but if not,I hope I make you think about what is possible in your life. Comment below or email me and tell me what you think, I want to know. Here’s to Team No Quit and our collective potential!

One of those nights

Tonight was one of those nights. One of those nights where I didn’t really want to go to jiu jitsu, where I could feel more ache and fatigue than motivation. My shoulder was especially cranky. I just wanted to stay home with the blahs.

But I went. Through the warm up, all I could feel was heaviness in my legs and exhaustion everywhere else. During drills, I mostly got it wrong. And when we rolled (sparred)? All I could see was what I was doing wrong. I just to go home and cry in the shower.

But I didn’t. It’s so easy to give in to our dark side, our smallest selves. Even writing this now, I feel like staying in my pity party. I’m learning, though. Learning that not every thought is true and that it’s never as bad as you think. For everything I thought I did wrong, there were probably 5 really good things.

I’m learning too that failure is not only the beginning of success, it’s 100% the most important part. Anything that went wrong tonight is tomorrow’s opportunity to improve. Like Churchill said, “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” It’s in the willingness to keep showing up.

It may not have been my best night, not even close. Some nights are like that, no matter what sport, hobby or lifestyle. I already can’t wait for class tomorrow.

Time to start

Hi! Thanks so much for being here. Welcome to Truth and Grit, a space I have created to chat about truth, grit, jiu jitsu and other adventures in my life. I’m excited to start sharing my writing with everyone, even if it is a little (a lot) nerve-wracking to put it out there for consumption.

I’ll be sharing not only original Truth and Grit posts but also links to the posts I write for Girls in Gis. Girls in Gis is an amazing organization dedicated to furthering women in jiu jitsu. Their motto is Strength in Solidarity, which I whole-heartedly believe in. Their blog features stories by jiu jiteiras of all walks of life, experience, belt level and perspective, including yours truly. You can read my latest for them right here.

That’s all for now. To keep up to date with the latest, please subscribe your email and be sure to follow along on Instagram and Pinterest for more from me. I am always to happy to hear from you, drop me a line in the comments section below or send me an email. Until next time!

Peace, Love, Jiu Jitsu

Carly