One of those nights

Tonight was one of those nights. One of those nights where I didn’t really want to go to jiu jitsu, where I could feel more ache and fatigue than motivation. My shoulder was especially cranky. I just wanted to stay home with the blahs.

But I went. Through the warm up, all I could feel was heaviness in my legs and exhaustion everywhere else. During drills, I mostly got it wrong. And when we rolled (sparred)? All I could see was what I was doing wrong. I just to go home and cry in the shower.

But I didn’t. It’s so easy to give in to our dark side, our smallest selves. Even writing this now, I feel like staying in my pity party. I’m learning, though. Learning that not every thought is true and that it’s never as bad as you think. For everything I thought I did wrong, there were probably 5 really good things.

I’m learning too that failure is not only the beginning of success, it’s 100% the most important part. Anything that went wrong tonight is tomorrow’s opportunity to improve. Like Churchill said, “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” It’s in the willingness to keep showing up.

It may not have been my best night, not even close. Some nights are like that, no matter what sport, hobby or lifestyle. I already can’t wait for class tomorrow.